Like Father Like Daughter!

Papa drove Karina to Park #2 yesterday, about a mile away! They had a blast! My helmet fits her! She loved it!

Reaching Out

We are happy to report that our nesting and keeping Karina tight at home is working. She is feeling confident to reach out more now, and in fact, received her first phone call directly to her from a friend she met at Park #2! Of course, we accepted the kind invite and she and Brenna had a blast! She is meeting more kids now and willing to reach out and feel more comfortable with American kids. Wii is a great help, because it spans the language barrier with easy to understand interaction activities. Other firsts this week (week #5) included:
* a shut down at Target because she did not have enough money to buy what she wanted, but then, after thinking about it, realized that she should earn the money needed and go back later to Target. (Side note: I set up a way for her to be in total control of earning money, not an allowance, but doing math problems for 20 cents a page. She needs the practice, and she needs to learn money skills, and she needs a job that she can do anytime without us and achieve any level of advancement she can accomplish. Of course, she has to solve the problems correctly!)
* going back to Target and making her first purchase with her money! She decided what she wanted, she did the math skills to figure out what she could and could not afford, we talked about saving some, and she checked out all by herself! She was soo, I mean sooo very proud! She bought earrings and a red wallet!
* inviting her friend from ESL, XiJing and XiJing's family for lunch and choosing to serve hotdogs and huge marshmellows that we can roast over the fire.
* and thinking about a gift for Papa for father's day! We saw a extra large coffee mug and that seemed perfect! Karina cannot keep a secret so Papa knows about it, but it is awfully funny!

We are doing OK and all is well. It is a blessing that kids are so resilient. There are many exciting lessons to learn.

Kids are Kids

No matter what background, tweens are tweens. Parents can be a pain to them in their eyes. Whining needs to be nipped in the bud when it happens, and it does happen. Sassy talk, as well. Kids are kids. We look for the goodness and correct what is inappropriate as soon as it occurs. And it occurs. To be a parent is a gift we asked to have the opportunity to be. It is a privilege. It is not easy. There is no "hey, thanks for being my mom and dad." To get to that level is an even greater gift, one that means we were able to go above and beyond and it means, more so, that the soul of our child was open to going beyond herself. We have empathy for what our fellow parents are going through. None of us are alone. Complicated by language and limits on expression, we join in sharing a unique way of dealing with what seems to be human nature. A daily reminder, maybe even hourly reminder, of how grateful it is to have the opportunity to do what we are able to do and have a family, which we have not had for 23 years, helps keep it all in perspective. For the first time in 21 years, I desperately, I mean really desperately, wanted to talk to my mother. Somehow, being a mom makes you want your own mom more than ever. Thank goodness for good friends who offer hugs and support, advice and counsel. And for doctors and nurses who are caring and open and provide goodness and love as well. It takes a community for sure!

OK, here's a good one!

Mr. Bean, the whole bean! Netflix has these videos on demand, and the kids at Mariupol used to watch Mr. Bean! No language skills required to laugh at the funny humor! Karina and Papa are laughing their heads off!

So, here's to our weekend-holiday celebration for tonight:
* a bowl of cheese puffs 
* milk in a plastic wine glass
* Mr. Bean on the TV
* Robert and Big Kitty sitting next to the 3 of us

Lots of Fun!

Oh, and P.S. Karina slept with ALL the dogs last night. Needless to say, she didn't sleep. But, hat's off to her for being adventurous! (She was licked to the bone, and Twister cuddled way too close, she said.)

Favorite Tunes

For those with teenagers from Ukraine, here is some of the music our tween says is "terrrrrific!"

(We also added in a few of her favorite America tunes as of this week).

Anything by Dema Belan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO0kH8hf_wc

Anything by Ranetki: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uY-goxZ-tc

Anything by Potap & Nastia: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pC5Pb68Od0

Anything by Max Barskih: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPSU8aa2yNo

Anything by MaxSym: http://www.youtube.com/user/maksim?blend=1&ob=5

Katy Perry - ET

Train - Soul Sister

Black-eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow

Jennifer Lopez - Hit the Floor (kinda, so so )

And another popular America song that we do not know the name of it but plays on the radio a lot.


The thing that I worry about as a parent is, what these videos teach girls about relationships with men: too much drama, tragedy, and violence (throwing and breaking things). In Ukraine, girls are often sex-pistols and guys have lots of machismo. Reversing these beliefs and creating an understanding of loving, equal partnerships between men and women and how men and women communicate attraction to each other is challenging. There is too much "girl-chasing/boy-chasing" or trolling-type of behaviors that kids pick up on, and as a parent, that bothers me. Just a personal thought.

Anyway, tunes in one's native language helps to ease the over-Englished-world that sometimes gets our kids down until they can navigate English better.

Meeting in the Middle

Today is the anniversary of our 4th week in America, post-Ukraine. We have learned a lot about each other this past month. Values, feelings, communicating, expectations, and most of all respecting each other and as such, meeting in the middle. We are thankful for Liliya, our friend, who is available to us night and day for those deeper conversations, and conflict situations. She handles us with grace and love. Her translation abilities are very much welcomed. Today, we have had a really good day. Karina pointed out that we did not approve of her making faces at America foods, yet when we let her cook her own breakfast (scrambled eggs) we made faces (as they were raw with only a slight bit of white). So, tonight, we agreed that we were wrong to do that and she cooked dinner for the 3 of us and we ate all of our eggs, raw and runny (even the whites were runny) with nice faces and smiles of yummy-ness! We met in the middle. We needed a break from Hannah Montana's album and so we introduced Karina to youtube and how to search for Russian music. This was fabulous! She found her favorite tunes and sang along for hours! We bought her favorite album in itunes and it is our dinner music. If she has to listen to NPR, then we can listen to Ranetki. We met in the middle. It is about choice, respect, appreciation of variety, and bravery in trying new things with grace and openness. It is not always easy, but it is the essence of our relationship and that is good for where we are and how we have been doing at this point. Karina is growing closer to the pets, too. She likes to hold big kitty, and wishes she could sleep with all the dogs. We promised we'd let her try this - on a non-school night, in dogland on the futon  That should be a trip! 15 dogs who all like to lick and cuddle close! Hey, what is memorial weekend for, if not to celebrate and love being with pets and people?! (Oh no, Papa is helping crazy dog, Katie, to dance and sing in the microphone! Time for lots of laughs!)

Biker Chic

Ready to roll, just need a dry sunny day!